If you have found yourself wondering, “Why don’t I want sex anymore?”, you are far from alone. A change in sexual desire can feel confusing, upsetting or even frightening. You may love your partner, feel attracted to them and care deeply about your relationship, yet still notice that your interest in sex has reduced or disappeared. For some people, the change happens gradually. For others, it can feel as though desire has suddenly switched off. You might find yourself avoidin

You notice your partner is quiet and immediately wonder whether you have done something wrong. A friend sends a shorter message than usual and your mind starts searching for a reason. Someone you care about is disappointed, upset or stressed, and even when you know logically that their feelings are not yours to fix, you still feel an urge to make things better. Perhaps you find yourself carefully choosing your words, avoiding difficult conversations or saying yes when you rea

You’ve done the reading. You’ve listened to the podcasts. Maybe you’ve even been to therapy before. You know that you tend to overthink. You know you become anxious when someone pulls away. You know you shut down when conflict feels too intense. You might even understand exactly where some of these patterns began. And yet, when something happens in your relationship, there it is again. The tight feeling in your chest. The urge to send another message. The sudden anger. The ne

Relationships can bring us some of our deepest feelings of connection, comfort and belonging. They can also stir up anxiety, self-doubt and fear. You might notice yourself overthinking messages, worrying that your partner is pulling away, needing reassurance, or feeling unsettled when things seem slightly different between you. Perhaps part of you knows that everything is probably okay, yet another part keeps asking: What if they’re losing interest? Have I done something wron

Have you ever tried to talk to your partner about something that matters, only for them to go quiet, change the subject, become defensive or walk away? Perhaps the more they withdraw, the more urgently you feel the need to talk things through. You ask more questions, try harder to explain yourself or push for some kind of response. But instead of bringing you closer, it seems to make your partner retreat even further. Before long, you are both left feeling frustrated, misunde

You try to talk about something that has upset you, but your partner becomes quiet. You ask what is wrong. They say, “Nothing.” You try again, perhaps explaining more, asking questions or becoming increasingly frustrated. The more you try to connect, the further away they seem to go. Eventually, one of you may become angry while the other completely shuts down. The conversation ends, but nothing feels resolved. You are left feeling ignored, rejected or alone. Your partner may

"Why do I react like that?" It's one of the questions I hear most often in the therapy room. Sometimes it's asked by someone who avoids conflict at all costs. They keep their thoughts to themselves, worry about upsetting people and apologise even when they haven't done anything wrong. Other times it's asked by someone who becomes defensive, shuts down or suddenly erupts during an argument. Afterwards they're left wondering, "Where did that come from?" They carry guilt, shame

"Why do we keep hurting each other when all we really want is to feel loved?" For many people, relationships that feel painful or confusing aren't simply about a lack of love. They are often shaped by deeper emotional patterns developed long before the relationship began. A trauma bond is not simply a difficult relationship or a pattern of unhealthy communication. It is a powerful psychological attachment that develops through repeated cycles of abuse, fear, relief and hope.

Have you ever found yourself asking: "Why does this keep happening to me?" Perhaps you've been in several relationships where your partner struggled to express their emotions, avoided commitment, pulled away when things became close, or left you feeling lonely even when you were together. It can be confusing and painful when the same relationship patterns seem to repeat. You may wonder whether you're simply unlucky or whether there's something wrong with you. The truth is, th

One phrase has been appearing more and more in my therapy room recently: "I just don't feel like myself anymore." These are women in their late thirties, early forties and beyond who are struggling to understand what has changed. They're often exhausted, emotionally overwhelmed, anxious, tearful, disconnected from themselves and often from their partners too. Many have noticed a dramatic change in their desire for intimacy, while others are experiencing pain during sex for th

When people think about erectile dysfunction (ED), they often focus solely on the physical symptoms. However, in my work with both individuals and couples, I see how its impact reaches far beyond the bedroom. Erectile dysfunction can affect confidence, self-esteem, emotional wellbeing, intimacy, and the connection between partners. It can leave people feeling isolated, ashamed, or worried about their relationship, yet it's something that many experience at some point in their

Pain during sex can feel isolating, confusing and deeply emotional. Whether you're experiencing vaginismus yourself or you're supporting a partner who is, understanding what's happening is often the first step towards healing. "Why is this happening to me?" For many people, vaginismus can feel frightening. You may have wondered why your body seems to tense or "shut down" despite wanting intimacy. You may have questioned whether it's psychological, physical, or somehow your fa

Have You Started Feeling More Like Housemates Than Partners? Many couples seek therapy because something feels different in their relationship. Conversations become practical rather than meaningful. Affection decreases. Physical intimacy becomes less frequent, awkward, or disappears altogether. Often, one partner worries that the relationship is losing its spark, while the other feels pressured, misunderstood, or unsure why their desire has changed. When this happens, it's ea

Sexual difficulties are more common than many people realise. Challenges such as low desire, difficulties with arousal, painful sex, erectile difficulties, sexual anxiety, shame, or feeling disconnected from intimacy can affect people of all ages and relationship backgrounds. Whilst medical factors sometimes play a role, psychosexual difficulties are often influenced by emotional experiences, relationship dynamics, stress, past experiences, and the way our nervous system resp

Most relationships do not break down because of one big argument. More often, distance develops through a series of small moments that never get spoken about. A disappointment that is brushed aside. A hurt feeling that remains unexpressed. A need that goes unmet. Over time, these experiences can accumulate and turn into resentment. By the time resentment becomes visible, people are often surprised by how strong it feels. They may find themselves becoming irritated by things t

You may understand your reactions logically. You may know your partner loves you. You may know a disagreement does not mean abandonment. You may even recognise that part of your response comes from earlier experiences. And yet, in certain moments, something inside still reacts before you have time to think. A conversation suddenly feels overwhelming. You become emotionally flooded, shut down, defensive, distant, anxious, or desperate to repair things. Afterwards, you might fi

You may find yourself reacting strongly in relationships without fully understanding why. Perhaps you overthink conversations long after they’ve happened, become emotionally overwhelmed during conflict, shut down when things feel too intense, or struggle to trust that someone will truly stay emotionally connected to you. Part of you may want closeness and connection, while another part pulls away, becomes defensive, or fears being hurt. These patterns can feel confusing, espe

Do you often feel responsible for how other people are feeling? Perhaps you notice shifts in mood quickly. You try to keep the peace. You think carefully about how your words, tone, or decisions might affect others. You may find yourself carrying the emotional weight in relationships, families, or workplaces without even fully realising it. Many people who struggle with this are seen as caring, capable, thoughtful, and emotionally aware. They are often the ones others rely on

By the time many couples arrive in therapy, they are exhausted. They have usually had the same argument dozens, sometimes hundreds, of times before. What begins as a conversation about something small slowly turns into another evening of tension, silence, defensiveness, anger, or emotional distance. One person feels unheard. The other feels criticised. Both leave the conversation feeling alone. And somewhere underneath it all sits the quiet question many couples are too afrai

You walk into a room together. For one of you, it feels easy. Familiar faces, warm greetings, conversations that pick up where they left off. There’s a sense of belonging without having to think about it. For the other, it can feel very different. You say hello, try to join in, but something doesn’t quite land. The responses feel shorter. The connection doesn’t open up in the same way. You find yourself hovering on the edge of conversations, waiting for a way in that doesn’t